Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
