i think i have two assholes
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
