that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
