Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
