I'm pants shitting drunk right now
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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