OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
