Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
