He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
