Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
