I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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