Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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