theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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