but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
