How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
