party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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