I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
