Slut skills are useful in every country.
There's always time for handjobs
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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