you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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