Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
