the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
