what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize