I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
