just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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