your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
