I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
