Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
