Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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