i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
