He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
