My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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