i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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