I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize