btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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