I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I need a beard to bite.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
And then he peed in my hair
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
