I wanna bring you to show and tell
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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