my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
so let's talk penis.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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