it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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