i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
