Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
