Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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