WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
