I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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