how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
