So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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