Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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