im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so let's talk penis.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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