But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize