Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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