I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
