I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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