Christians are straight up FREAKS
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
