um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
