A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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