I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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