so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
