Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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