Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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