how do flat chested girls get laid?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize