Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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